vector dreams
by stolashoots
Summary: When Vector dreams, he doesn't see pleasant memories or sickly sweet fantasies, instead, he dreams of not being Vector the unemployed human, but of Vector the Barian, Vector the ravager of worlds, Vector the Mad King. When Vector dreams, he dreams of destroying everything he holds dear. Warning: mature topics


**Quick thanks to Bus for helping me out with this 3**

When Vector dreams, he doesn't see pleasant memories or sickly sweet fantasies, instead he dreams of not being Vector the unemployed human, but of Vector the Barian, Vector the ravager of worlds, Vector the Mad King.

When Vector dreams, he dreams of destroying everything he holds dear.

Typically, the dreams start out pleasant, this one begins with him and Yuma alone in the living room, curled up together on the couch like some domestic couple. Under the television commercials and Yuma humming a familiar jingle, Vector thinks he can hear noise in the kitchen, perhaps coming from Alit.

He feels… He isn't quite sure, but there's an abnormal sensation crawling up his spine and clouding his mind. It's disgusting. Vector's eyes flick to all possible escape routes, his hold on Yuma tightening in case they have to make a quick escape. The front door is unlocked, there's a back door by Alit in the kitchen, the windows can be broken in an emergency…

"Vector? What's wrong?" Yuma's hand brushes against his arm, no doubt meant to comfort him, but Vector springs to his feet, throwing Yuma away from him. "Vector?"

"I feel…" Vector tries, because after spending years by Yuma's side, he's actually learned to talk about his feelings, only he doesn't know how to describe this. Cold, he decides, his insides numb, his thoughts a jumbled mess. He's sick, maybe, and he just needs to lay down for a bit.

After a moment of silence, Yuma sits up and reaches out for Vector again. He wants to warn Yuma against it, to pull away and demand he not touch him, not now, not ever, but Vector's not in the right mind.

And, Vector supposes, this is where all of his dreams turn gruesome, when Yuma or one of his other "friends" try to help him. This is where he stops being him, the Vector of the present, and instead becomes the Vector of the past.

Even in this disgustingly weak human body, it's too easy to snatch Yuma's hand and _push_ until he can hear the _crack_ of Yuma's wrist snapping back. He lets go to admire the bent angle of Yuma's hand. He can hear his own laughter, only, Vector's just as horrified as Yuma's current expression is.

Vaguely, he thinks that Yuma's probably in shock right now, but that's not going to last for very long. He needs medical attention. Better yet, Vector needs to leave before he can cause any more damage. Where the hell is Alit, he's only a room away, how hasn't he heard anything?

Gently, Vector shoves Yuma back against the couch cushions. After a caring caress to Yuma's cheek, he straddles Yuma's lap and places his hands on his throat. Under his thumbs, he can feel the faint quickening of Yuma's heartbeat, and he muses how long it'll take to squeeze away his life.

 _Stop_ , Vector commands, but his body refuses to cooperate. _I don't want this_ , Vector shouts, but when his mouth opens, his voice says, "I hate you." _Wrong_ , Vector screams, _Fight me, Yuma! Don't let me do this to you_ , but this is just a dream, and dream Yuma looks at him with resignation in his eyes.

And, perhaps this is the worst part, the fact Yuma has already accepted his fate and isn't going to stop Vector. After all, Vector snapping was bound to happen at some point, right? He was a monster in the beginning, and he's a monster now. Yuma could push him off or kick or thrash or bite or scream for Alit, and any of those would hinder Vector, but no, Yuma sits still like a good little victim.

Not-Vector presses forward, his fingers tightening against Yuma's throat hard enough to bruise. Of course, bruising is the last thing on Vector's mind, not with Yuma struggling to breath under him. He's making small, choked sounds that are easily drowned by the television.

Vector can hear himself cackling again, and this alerts Alit, who peeks in through the doorway. He wonders what it must look like to Alit, to see one of his lovers in the process of suffocating the other. This obviously doesn't bode well for Alit, not with the way he jumps into action and claws Vector off Yuma.

He hits the floor, Alit moving to check on Yuma, and Vector wants to scream at him for turning his back to him. As much as he'd like to stay on the ground, his body picks himself up and pulls a… duel monster card out of thin air. In a normal occasion, this would be meaningless, but even without seeing the face of the card, he can tell it's Rank-Up-Magic Barian's Force. The card flashes and Alit spasms, falling to his knees and clutching at his head as the magic takes root in his mind, rewriting his thoughts and desires until he's little more than the perfect minion.

It's no different from what Vector and Don Thousand did to Alit and Gilag back on the Barian world all those years ago, but Vector has changed since then, he's better at understanding what's wrong and right, and mind control falls straight into the fucked up zone of wrongness, and he doesn't want this, not in a million years, not again.

Alit staggers to his feet, a cold smile plastered to his face, the Barian crest stuck to his forehead. Vector wants nothing more to shake Alit out of this, to rip the crest off of him, and get Yuma to a hospital, but his body has other ideas.

Without needing an order, Alit obediently sits next to Yuma on the couch. Yuma turns to him, tears streaming down his face, one hand delicately holding the broken wrist. Not-Vector moves to place his hands on Alit's throat this time, so Vector can watch as Yuma watches as Alit dies. Because he will die, unless some sort of miracle happens and Kaito or Ryouga suddenly break down the door.

Vector always thought that suffocation was too easy, too quick of a death, but it takes what feels like lifetimes before Alit passes out from lack of oxygen, and then even longer before Vector can feel his faint heartbeat slow. It should only take three minutes, he thinks to himself, only three minutes for Alit and then three minutes for Yuma and then it'll be all over and he can wake up in his warm bed and check on his boyfriends and pretend he never saw any of this, but no, his fingers lighten his grasp before Alit can fully suffocate to death. It seems Not-Vector also believes that choking someone isn't thrilling enough, but now Alit's no longer awake and there aren't many ways to make a person suffer while they're sleeping.

He gets up and slides over to Yuma, shoving his arms down none too gently, savoring the whimper of pain from his victim. It's only been a few minutes, but purple, oval shaped bruises are already forming on Yuma's neck. Vector covers them up with his fingers, then presses them down.

Yuma's eyes, wide and filling with tears, meet his, and Vector's breath is stolen away. Metaphorically, of course, considering he's not the one actually dying. "Please," Yuma chokes out.

"Please what?" Vector's body asks softly with a smile. "Please continue? As you wish, my love." He leans forward and lays a chaste kiss against Yuma's lips. _Please don't do this,_ Vector begs as his hands wring Yuma's pretty little neck.

Everything goes dark.

Vector jerks up, tearing out of the arms loosely holding him around his waist. He looks around in alarm, his eyes searching for the cause of the darkness. He's in… his bedroom? The warmth under him shifts, groans, and tries to pull him back down.

"Vector, what's wrong," Yuma mumbles, eyelids sliding open to see why his boyfriend is awake, and it's only then that Vector realizes he's no longer in that horrible dream. He's lying half on top of Yuma's naked chest, thick winter blankets covering them. He spies Alit curled up on the other side of the bed; Alit must have rolled over in his sleep, his mind supplies.

"Vector?" Yuma asks again, stirring and peering up at him, catching his attention. Even in the faint lighting, Vector can see Yuma's perfect neck peppered with small bruises from love bites. They make Vector feel sick to his stomach; it would be too easy to reach out and reenact the scenes from his dream. He has to get away, Vector thinks, he can't let himself hurt Yuma, not again, not ever again.

"Don't touch me!" He pushes away, desperately trying not to see Yuma's hurt look, rolls out of Yuma's arms and jumps off the bed. Vector bolts out of the room, ignoring Yuma's calls to him, and runs out the front door. He doesn't bother pulling on a jacket or shoes, his pajamas thick enough that the slight chill in the air hardly deters him. Behind him, he can hear loud footfalls and voices shouting for him to slow down, but he presses on, escaping into the street.

Vector runs until he's gasping from overexertion and he can no longer see his house. He heads towards the park, it's unlikely that anyone will bother him there, cutting though dim alleyways to reach his destination as quick as possible. When he gets there, he sits down at a dew-covered bench and looks up at the night sky, breathing deeply to catch his breath. Above him is darkness, the city lights polluting the sky and blocking out the faint stars.

He needs to think things through, figure out what's best, but his mind is foggy with emotions and unless he calms down, he knows he's going to do something stupid. Not that he hasn't already done something he's going to regret later, such as running out of his own house in the middle of the night without warning. Yuma and Alit are probably out looking for him, he doesn't have much time until they manage to find him.

"Vector," a voice says behind him. Damn, and he was just about to get up and find a better hiding spot that's not entirely out in the open. He can't believe he didn't hear someone walk up to him. The new arrival places a hand on his shoulder, to keep him from leaving no doubt, and Vector stiffens and refuses to look at it.

There's a sigh, and the hand is removed so Alit can sit beside Vector on the bench, his nose scrunching up when he realizes the metal is damp. "So," Alit begins, "What was all that about? You want to talk about it?"

"Not really," Vector hunches over, staring at his balled fists. No, of course he doesn't want to talk about how easy it would be to kill Yuma and Alit, and how much that fact frightens him.

"Are you alright," Alit tries again, not letting this go.

Vector shrugs.

There's a lengthy pause in which Vector wonders if he'd be able to outrun Alit, then decides he probably couldn't. "Yuma stayed at home," Alit tells him. "He ran right after you, probably would have kept following if I didn't remind him he was only in boxers and public indecency is a crime. He's waiting for you on the front steps instead, in case you decided to come back home before I could find you."

"I'm not going back," Vector says, but his words taste bad in his mouth and sound flimsy. He's running away from his problems by doing this; what a weak response to pressure.

"Okay," says Alit, leaning back. "So where're you going to go? I suppose you could move back in with Durbe, he usually spends most of his time with V anyway, and he's too much of a pushover to leave you on the streets. Yuma will be sad, of course, but if you think it's for the best, he'll support your decision."

 _What about you_ , Vector wants to ask, but that would be admitting Alit's opinion of him matters. "Why do you care so much," he grumbles instead.

"Well, I'd miss seeing you all the time," Alit says easily. "It'll be weird coming home early and not see you on the couch, or having to make my own dinner and not having to specifically request that you make something other than meat for an entire week. We wouldn't be able to practice on our tag team dueling anymore, or compare strategies, or go on dates. The bed would be colder without you, and I wouldn't have anyone to go bar hopping with. I'd miss all of that."

Alit's words sting like a thousand wasps. He never wanted this, never wanted to get attached, never wanted to fall in love with either Alit or Yuma. He's grown soft with age, and now something as meaningless and fragile as words tear Vector's heart in two.

They're quiet for a moment, Alit thinking and Vector refusing to speak. After a while, Alit says, "If you want some space that's fine, but I don't want to see you running away from us without knowing what's going on."

Vector doesn't want space, he doesn't want to leave them, he just wants to stop being scared, but he doesn't know how to say any of this.

"I had a dream," he says finally. "I overreacted. It's not a big deal." Only, it clearly is and they both know it, but maybe dismissing this whole situation will make him believe it.

"What happened?" Alit's voice is gentle, and he can see Alit shift closer to him out of the corner of his eye.

Vector shrugs. "Some stuff." He pauses, and Alit waits for him to continue. "You and Yuma were in it. I wasn't myself, or, I was like how I was." He doesn't know how to explain the conflicting thoughts that ran through his mind at the time, or the way his body reacted without his control. "I don't know. I hurt you, both of you."

"Why did you do that?"

He has to think, then answers with, "I don't know. It was like l was under Don Thousand's influence again, only instead of him whispering orders into my ear, he was in complete control. And, it wasn't him making me do these things, it was me making me do these things. A different me. Not me like I am now, but me like I was before." He doesn't know any other way to describe it.

"Did you want to hurt us?" If Alit slides any closer, he'll be on Vector's lap.

Vector thinks of the sound of Yuma's wrist snapping and feels sick to his stomach again. He shakes his head. "No, it felt wrong."

"Then what are you scared of?" He doesn't remember saying anything about being frightened, so Alit must have correctly inferred it.

"It was easy." Vector turns to Alit for the first time. He's in his pajamas just like Vector, a hoodie and cotton pants. His hair is flat on one side, the other deflated more than usual. His face is serious, his eyes trained on Vector. "It was too easy to kill you, you didn't even put up a fight."

Alit lays his hand on Vector's leg, near his knee. It's meant to be a comforting gesture, and he feels himself slowly relax at the touch. "It was as though Yuma knew it was going to happen, that I'd hurt him, and he didn't do anything to protect himself. And you… You tried, but you weren't strong enough."

Saying Alit isn't strong is like saying snow isn't cold or water isn't wet, it's a wrong statement, yet Vector still fears it might be true. Strength isn't the real issue here, however; will Alit be able to prevent Vector from hurting someone? They play fought all the time, wrestling on the floor to settle arguments, and typically Alit was the one to pin Vector and tickle him until he forfeiting; only rarely did Vector ever win any of their games. But, that isn't the same, fooling around is different than in a real situation where Vector needs to be restrained.

"I'm not strong enough?" Alit asks, eyes wide in surprise. "I think I can take you on, Vector."

Vector shrugs and looks away again. It doesn't matter if Alit thinks he can fight him; Vector knows how to play dirty, and there's no telling if Alit would be willing to potentially injure Vector to keep him down.

Alit realizes a moment too late that he's said the wrong thing. "How can I prove to you that I'm strong enough, Vector? I know I can protect you and Yuma, but what do I need to do to make you understand that?" He reaches out and takes Vector's hands in his.

"I don't know." Vector squeezes his hand. "Prove it to me?"

Vector is staring at a nearby lamppost, too fixated in avoiding Alit's eyes that he doesn't notice Alit's expression contort, doesn't see him close his eyes and sigh in resignation. The only warning Vector gets that something is about to happen is when Alit slips his hand out of Vector's grip.

Vector turns in confusion, only for Alit to lunge at him and tackle him off the bench a moment later. They fall hard on the soft grass, Vector only just managing to not slam right into his already sensitive upper back. Before he has time to react, Alit has both of Vector's arms pinned down. Vector struggles and thrashes, kicking at Alit, but all of his attempts at escape are thwarted by a swift jab to the groin by Alit's knee.

Alit waits for Vector to stop seeing stars before asking, "Do you believe me now?" Vector looks away. Alit sighs and loosens his grip without letting go. "Vector, listen to me. I trust you. Yuma trusts you. You won't be able to hurt us, not because you _can't_ , but because you _won't_." He lets go with one hand to cup Vector's cheek. "Vector, you've come so far from where you were back when you were a Barian; you've changed, and we're so proud of you because of that. If something does happen to you, and you do lose control, Yuma and I aren't going to be completely defenseless. We know you don't want to hurt us, and we'll stop you before you hurt yourself." He pauses, then, "But, if you really don't think you can hold yourself back from making a bad decision, then that's your choice." Alit leans down to lay a kiss on Vector's forehead.

He stands, holding out a hand to help Vector up as well. Vector takes it and allows himself to be pulled to his feet. Vector doesn't let go of his hand. "So," Alit says, "Do you want me to call Durbe and ask if you can stay at his place for a bit?"

Vector shuffles his feet and shakes his head. Alit has proved his point, and most of Vector's fears have drained from his body, leaving him numb and wanting comfort he'll only find from his boyfriends. "Let's go home. Yuma's waiting for us." Alit says gently.

The walk back to their house is longer than he thought it would be. Now that his adrenaline levels has fallen, Vector feels the chill in the air more than ever, and he shivers because of it. Soon, he'll be in his warm bed again, Vector thinks. He's not sure if he'll be able to sleep again after that dream, but he doesn't want to stay awake alone either.

Just as Alit predicted, Yuma is sitting on the front steps, a brown blanket wrapped securely around him. Yuma jumps to his feet when he sees them, and runs over. It looks as though he's going to hug Vector, but he stops short and opts to take his unoccupied hand instead.

"Hi," says Yuma.

"Hi," parrots Vector.

"Are you better?"

 _No_ , Vector thinks, and he shrugs. "For now." Alit's words affected him, and though he's willing to return home, he still finds himself doubting them, weary that Alit might be wrong. It's better if he stays on guard.

Yuma's face falls, then brightens again. "Okay. Do you want to watch a movie, Vector?"

Alit rolls his eyes and begins moving indoors. "Yuma, it's the middle of the night."

"So? It's the weekend and there's a tub of ice cream with my name on it!" Yuma cheers, shutting the door behind him.

Vector considers his options, then suggests, "Something happy?" He's relieved at the prospect of Yuma staying up with him.

"Disney it is then." Yuma lets go of his hand to go find the movie.

"Vector," Alit beings when Yuma is out of sight. "I know we don't really talk about things often, but I'm here if you need to let something off your chest. You usually talk to Yuma about emotions, don't give me that look, I do the same, but," he pauses. "But I think I get it more than you know. What it's like to have so much power and not know if you can control it."

"Thanks, for being here." Vector says, and his gratitude is genuine. He doesn't know what he would have done if Alit hadn't talked to him.

Vector grabs the ice cream out of the freezer and two spoons, Alit declining his offer to share with them, and they head back to the living room. Yuma has already popped the movie in and is sitting on the far side of the couch, waiting for them. Vector hesitates before sitting beside him, Alit taking Vector's other side, and hands over the tub and a spoon. Yuma presses play on the controller, and they watch the movie in comfortable silence.

Halfway in the movie, Yuma slides over to Vector so they're leaning together. "I'm glad you came back," Yuma whispers to him.

"Me too."

 **Thanks for reading! Please remember to leave a comment~~**


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